The Gautreaux Family Blog

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Chemo Day 4

I had the pleasure of taking my brother to Day 4 of chemo therapy. He gave me three rules (given by the middle-men Dad and Mom).

1. Pick him up WITH breakfast.

2. Don't talk, he doesn't feel good.

3. Don't be a dumbass. For real.

Seems easy enough! And I do have to appreciate his honesty! Truth is, I liked knowing what was expected of me and these would probably be my exact rules if I were in his place.

The day went well. I sat my butt in a chair all day and he slept. Poor guy! But I know he appreciated the moral support (and breakfast). Do you have any idea what it's like to see a grown man-child tear up from pain and nausea? I cried. I turned my face away so he wouldn't see, although when I turned back around he had his face covered anyway. Another sad reality, so many people came and went while he sat here and say here. A true reality at the cancers he's fighting.

This is a sad, sad place to be. It's one big room with chairs lined up and people sitting there with poison pumping through their veins, all in an attempt to defy the odds and live a little bit longer. It takes special nurses to work in here. I heard one nurse today, "I will allow you to be grumpy with me right now, but no more after today. You hear me?" Por old man said, "yes ma'am!" They do everything with such love and yet are still very professional.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Dear Ethan,

My brother, who just turned 19 in May was diagnosed with cancer this past July. Two cancers to be exact - Testicular Teratoma and Embroynal Carcinoma. As I tried to find the perfect website to link back for reference, I found that there is very little information about both of these cancers on the web. Maybe it's because what I was able to find was always attached to the word "rare" (which is quite scary to read when you're referring to cancer) or maybe it's just that it has to do with the male reproductive system, a sensitive topic that few like to talk about. I dunno.

He starts chemotherapy tomorrow and will have 5 days of chemo and 2 days off. This will be his schedule for the next four weeks. Unlike most 19 year old boys who are working for a paycheck, studying at school, or playing the dating game, my brother enters the world of chemotherapy. He's been warned by his doctors - "every negative thing you've heard about cancer, you will experience. You will be so sick, you will think you're dying. You will be hospitalized for dehydration. You will lose your hair very quickly, you will not want to eat, you will lose weight. You will never have children." How's that for a rude awakening into adulthood?

But this guy is doing okay, all things considered. We had dinner the other night and I wanted to cry. Instead, I made jokes, sat by him and tried to cheer him up a bit. I even grabbed him by the neck and planted a big sisterly kiss right on his cheek. HE LOVED THAT! He smiled a few times and I'll take that!

I've been praying for him a great deal since the diagnosis. Actually, I've been praying for this kid for quite awhile now, the diagnosis really only added to my prayers for him. There is just so much I want to tell him.

Ethan,

You are a follower of Jesus Christ. You made that profession of faith in a church and you were baptized and became a disciple for Christ. With this, came a new set of responsibilities. I don't know exactly what's on your heart right now. I can guess you're angry, determined, nervous, shocked, anxious, probably all of the above. But I do know this, God allows things to happen to serve and grow His kingdom. God didn't give you cancer. God didn't create you with a broken body. We live in a sinful world and all sin has consequences. Cancer, sickness, headaches, broken bones - these are all the result of sin and selfishness. When you are fighting this battle, do not ever think you caused this. You did not cause your cancer. However, God has allowed this because He knows what YOU can do to grow His kingdom. He has allowed this because He has faith in YOU. What God did create was intelligent people who created medicine to save lives. He created communities and families to walk alongside this journey in life with you. He created love and forgiveness. He created YOU with a purpose.

This cancer journey is now an additional piece to your testimony, your life story that will point others to Christ. And you are not walking this journey alone! Every one of your family members will be there with you. You are free to yell at me, curse me, cry with me, ignore me... you can even throw things at me. But after you're done being mad, I want you to shake those negative feelings off and pick up your faith. Pick up that cross like Jesus and push through this. Jesus was sad and begged God to change His plans and not send Him to die on the cross. God listened and cried with Him. But God knew the story of the cross would save people. And now, it's your turn to pick up the cross and save people with your story.

I love you dude!! I love you more than you know! It is my prayer that you answer this call with faith and not anger, that you cry out to God and not turn your back on Him. Not now when He needs you the most.

Brandie