Intentional Marriage

Since we started visiting and joined Lake Pointe Church, Jason and I have walked away from every sermon learning something and hearing the scripture come alive. We always walk away with a new message and a way to improve our lives but sometimes the message jumps out at me and feels like it was written just for me. When this happens, I feel the need to blog it so I can remember it, come back to it, and make those changes in my life.

Intentional Marriage - Piers of Marriage
If the home is the foundation of faith, then marriage is the foundation of the home. There are five piers to hold the bond of marriage together and make the home stronger for the family. Those piers are Love, Acceptance, Communication, Forgiveness and Intimacy.

Genesis 2:22-25

LOVE - Love is not a feeling, it is a choice. It is a choice to meet the needs of others. If you don't feel like working, can you just not go in to work? No. The same is true for marriage. You love, even when you don't feel like loving. Our choices create our feelings. We should treat others nicely even when we don't feel like it. This is obedience to God. Remember, God choose to love us even despite our sins and failures. It is through obedience that we choose to love.

ACCEPTANCE - We need to release unrealistic expectations. Intimacy causes conflict and conflict is going to be a part of any intimate relationship. People will not do what we want them to do; we cannot change them. God is our happiness and He will meet our needs. We are all in the process and will always be in the process.

COMMUNICATION - Make your your needs or requests known. They need to be clear, calm, current and constructive. Speak the truth in love! Speak to those who are not clear, speak your needs, and speak to resolve conflict. We all have to express our needs. No one can read our minds and we shouldn't expect others to read our minds. We must also resolve conflict! We need to resolve conflict in a reasonable time - select an appropriate time to discuss matters. Do not hold your hurt in. A good home strategy: "We do not take complaints, only requests!"

FORGIVENESS - Forgiveness is a choice. We can choose to forgive but it is humanly impossible to forget. Putting up walls may avoid others from hurting us but it may also keep others from loving us. Do not keep a record of wrongs. Choose not to retaliate.

INTIMACY -
* Spiritual Intimacy - worship, study and pray together.
* Emotional Intimacy - true intimacy of the heart; share things together, do things together (friends, hobbies), spend time together, even quiet time.
* Physical Intimacy - this needs to be a regular part of every healthy marriage with the only exception being if one is physically unable.