Mom had a baby boy, Gabriel Sean Coe, 23 years ago today born with anencephaly. He made his debut without a single breath but very much loved. I was 7 at the time of his birth and remember very little. When Jason and I started dating we went once or twice to visit him. Not too long ago I invited Mom to go with us. She was thrilled to go and I was so sad to hear she hadn't been in so long. Now we make sure we invite her each time we think of going to visit him. This year Breanne came with us and how wonderful must that have been for Mom to have all 3 of her children in the same place at the same time. It's a visit mixed with so many emotions - joy, sadness and longing. I cannot imagine losing my child without ever hearing him talk or breathe, without seeing him smile or walk, without sending them him off to school, without holding him in my arms. She is a strong woman to have gone through so much and yet still hold a smile on her face. We are not supposed to bury our children, but some mothers have to. I just cannot imagine. I also think about all we, as siblings, have lost. We never had that brother to toughen us up, or the brother to stay strong for us or to be a protector. I can't help but to think about him on his birthdays. We'd probably be nagging him to grow up or joking with him about his latest girlfriend. He may have even found the perfect woman and be ready to ask the big question. Because we don't have these memories, we have to hold the ones we do close to our hearts. I can find joy and peace knowing he is in the arms of our Lord and there is no better place to be. He never suffered but was loved unconditionally. That's a very nice life! And I'm so thankful that God chose my Mom to be his mother. He couldn't have made a better choice.
Happy Birthday Gabriel!
PS - An extra bit of information - Cameron's middle name is Sean named after my brother. He is very proud of his middle name and to be named after his uncle. He knows it's a special name to have and a great way to remember the son, brother and uncle we've never known.
PS - An extra bit of information - Cameron's middle name is Sean named after my brother. He is very proud of his middle name and to be named after his uncle. He knows it's a special name to have and a great way to remember the son, brother and uncle we've never known.
3 comments:
I am touched by your story. My girls experienced the loss of their brother at a younger age than you did, but I hope they think of him in a similar way.
Brandie, thank you for sharing your story. I love that you keep his memory alive. I'm sending a link to this entry to my friend Mary.
Thanks for your post. I love that you still think of and remember your brother, I want very badly for my kids to remember their sister. Your Mom isn't the only strong one, you striving to keep your brothers memory alive, visiting him, talking of him, makes you the best little sister he could have. Thank you so much for letting me read your post. It was so touching...
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