Nervous

I'm starting to get somewhat nervous about Thursday. I'm more excited than nervous really but those little taunting questions and fears are still in the back of my mind. There's just those understood surgery complications that COULD happen, even when highly unlikely. Will I tolerate anesthesia this go-around? What if the pain afterwards is too great, even though I'm being assured there is minimal to no pain after the surgery? What if something pushes the surgery time back later that day and I cant eat for even longer? (I know this seems irrational but I'm not too friendly when hunger strikes.) Or what if something unforeseen does happen and I don't make it out? What if I hemorrhage like I did with my last "lady surgery"? That wasn't fun at all! My doctor called me "the ultimate pessimist" this morning. If I didn't like him it would have made me mad. I understand these are really terrible, irrational fears but this is reality to me people. I am almost never the "glass is half empty" kind of gal, but sometimes I think it's okay to have this mindset when something like this occurs. Right? Anyone? I think it's a good thing to have ever basis covered - my legs will be shaved, I just had my eyebrows done, my face isn't totally breaking out, and I'll talk to Jason on our way there just in case something happens to me. I almost always look at the brighter side or give others the benefit of the doubt and try to stay positive in every situation, but right now I just cant seem to shake of the nervousness and the what-ifs.

I just need to try and focus my jitters elsewhere: no periods for life, a little anesthesia and Valium, staying off my feet for awhile and doing very little, no driving for a day, no more pads and tampons, the overall cost factor, decreased PMS symptoms (although I don't think I have any anyway!) and did I forget to mention no more periods for the rest of my life! I need to just focus on these greater things.