I've struggled for years (and by years I really do mean years, as in 11 years) knowing I should get up early and do my devotional BEFORE my day begins. But at the start of any new season (new calendar year, my school year, new trial in life, etc) I always give it my best shot. Problems is, not once did I ever make it out of bed early enough to actually attempt a devotional. But I could manage to stay in bed and come up with ideas of WHY it would be better for me to get my full night's sleep and do my devotional at a different time of the day. Funny thing is, I wasn't sleeping while telling Him my ideas either so why did I not just get up out of bed? (I literally just put this together while writing. Slow learner for sure!)
This has been really heavy on my heart for awhile now. I started a weekly bible study three weeks ago and once again I hear God telling me it's time to get out of bed. Because I am a slow learner, we go back through our conversation of why it would be better for me to get all my sleep and attempt this devotional time at a later hour in the day. By week 1, I've failed. Not once did I do a single devotional or open my bible study book. Not only is God now speaking to me throughout my day, but I hear Him in Sunday School, at church, and through the words of a friend. He's laying it on me right now!
So today is the day. Today is the day I command myself out of bed and into His word. At this point, I'm two weeks behind in our bible study. No, really. I got up when my alarm went off and opened my bible. Now before you think I've finally figured it out, I did hit snooze 4 times. And I checked my Facebook while going potty. Baby steps. But on Facebook a sweet friend of mine mentioned struggling with not getting sleep because she's suddenly wide awake in the middle of the night. I struggled with this too about 2 months ago. I told her that in order to fight Satan, it takes all of us praying around the clock and that it's just her season to do her part. I fought this same issue and it felt so liberating to literally get out of bed and on my knees in prayer at 2am, which was always the time I woke up abruptly from a sound sleep. Somebody was struggling somewhere and there I was praying for them. I would only hope that if we were struggling with an issue in the middle of the night that someone made that same decision to get out of bed and pray for Christ's followers.
And then it dawns on me.... I'm preaching to myself. Why am I so fixed on Brandie getting X amount of sleep when God is calling me to do the same? When did I get so selfish with my time? Is my faith that shaky that I don't trust God to sustain me through the day because I got up and prayed or I got up on time and did my devotional? God doesn't put me on hold when I call on him in the wee hours of the night, why am I putting Him on hold?
So I excitedly dig into my devotional this morning totally pumped because I FINALLY GET IT! I know God is up there rejoicing. After all, He has been working on this issue with me for more than 11 years!!
And of course what is my devotional about this morning? Asking God for wisdom and fully believing He will provide. This translated for me "Ask God for strength and endurance and fully believe He will provide." I can just see God shouting with praise that this child in Forney, TX has finally gotten it :) The study was also about God testing our faith and that satan can only take our goods if we hand them over. Testing produces perseverance (James 1:2-3). Satan can only take away my endurance and energy if I hand them over. The testing of my obedience to get out of bed will surely produce perseverance.
God never ceases to amaze me. Here I am two weeks behind in this study and just when I decide to obey Him and get out of bed, of course the study confirms what I need to be doing. The end of the days lesson says this, "Maybe today is a day for making up our minds in a personal area where we battle duplicity."
How long will we waiver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him. (1 Kings 18:21)
Today starts a new day for me. I'm going to stop fighting with God about "MY" required amount of sleep and "MY" preferred plans and I'm going to rely on Him for perseverance. I'm going to allow Him to push me and build my character. He will provide for me with anything I ask, why not just obey Him and with my faith ask Him to provide the energy I need.
